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Okay, so our "hero" was playing blackjack, not roulette. Whatever.

Scott Carpenter is a special agent with the FBI and a guy who did what a few of us have done once or twice. He came to Vegas (okay, so we live here and he was just in town on an undercover operation), hit the casino floor, and lost a grip of money playing blackjack.

Minor problem: he went to the high-limit room, where the losing happens faster.

Major problem: he didn’t exactly lose his money. He lost the federal government’s money. $13,5000 of the government’s money.

As you can imagine, Uncle Sam was not amused. Now, Scott’s pleaded guilty to one count of “conversion of government money.”

On May 18th, Scott is going to be converted into an inmate. (That’s his sentencing date.) If you’re wondering, conversion of over $1,000 in government funds is a felony subject to up to 10 years in prison, a maximum $250,000 fine, or both.

If you happen to be Scott Carpenter, here are a few suggestions to ponder while you’re awaiting your fate. First off: don’t steal money!!! (Simple enough, right?) Or, if you’re absolutely committed to becoming America’s newest felon, then…

  1. Why waste time when you can decide your fate pronto? Hit up any roulette wheel and bet it all on black.
  2. If you win, don’t let it ride! You can attempt to return the government funds you “borrowed,” pocket a little profit, and then you can go blow the rest.
  3. Get the $&%#! out of the high-roller room! If you have to embezzle money, you’re not a high roller.
  4. Have fun! See a show, hit the buffet, make the most out of your remaining time on the outside before you spend some quality time inside our nation’s penal system.

Anyway, it’s a little late for all that, and presumably, Scott’s already taken a mug shot or two that looks something like these.